wAiTin 4 ThE RitE mOmeNt 2.....

2008-07-15T15:09:00.001+08:00

Change.

Wanna change to something new. http://dehoohaasoflife.livejournal.com/ . Update,please. Thnks.

2008-07-11T18:58:00.002+08:00

Still busy!

Now that I'm finally done with Soundwaves, I thought I could finally have more time for myself, but NOO... There's still the Johor festival coming up and of course the much dreaded FYP!! Final touches and I would be done with FYP. But my schedules kept clashing and it irritates the shit out of me.

Unhappy stuff aside, interesting stuff has been happening in my life right now. Going on dates occasionally, having fun with each of them( not that I'm using them okay). Possible candidates? So far, not yet. Heck. As long as I'm already moving on fine without him in my life. Speaking of him, I think he's so out of my life right now. Which is good thing. =D And I'm happy about it.

2008-07-07T15:04:00.002+08:00

Lucky

Do you hear me, I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday.

Imagine being in love with your best friend. =)

Super duper sweet sweet song.

Awww.

Soundwaves's over. Finally. But I miss the company already! =(

2008-06-24T17:36:00.003+08:00

A birthday with...no bang. Yeah.The reality of it. I was busy on my birthday.The last year I would ever be a "-teen". Next year, the big "-ty"!!! But, of course, there were a couple of darlings who totally made my day(s)! De bouquet of lily, the chocs, the cake and muffins, the wishes, the hugs and kisses. Okay.So it wasn't that all bad after all. But still, the one thing that I was hoping to happen, didnt, so my birthday wasn't all fantastic.

That aside.

I'm surprised that opportunities came knocking on my door, which made me think if I'm actually improving. Oh well, whatever it is, i'm definitely not letting go of the opportunities given. I really should be thankful to God for everything. For now, I'm gonna work hard to achieve my dreams.

But 1 issue's never gonna change though. And I'm really sick and tired of thinking about them. I'll just stick to my plan and have fun, while letting things happen naturally.

Oh.. I haven't been sleeping well, but amazingly my appetite grew!, which is a reall bad thing.Having extra weight and unwanted fats' really a nightmare for a dancer! And I'm seeing fats everywhere!

What a nightmare!

2008-06-16T15:40:00.003+08:00

It's been sooo long since...

I've been doing the same things over and over again, that I'm missing out from stuff that I haven't been doing. Like, say, going out on dates, hanging out with the usual bitches, dancing with the lovely modern dance darlings. It has always been projects, after projects, and P.A.

Nothing exciting happening yet.

YARH!! I need some new excitement in my life! Oh... and while I'm typing this out in class, someone's being really flirty with me luh. Asking me what kind of songs I would want him to play for me. Awww... what a sweetie. He's cute.

I miss falling in love.

5 days to 19!

2008-05-30T12:55:00.002+08:00

The Debate.

They have been arguing a lot these days. And none of them would want to admit defeat, which is reeaalllyy irritating. And the victim? ME. The topic of their "debate"? That same old thing lor... One says another, the other says another extreme. And it kept going on and on.

And because of these constant "arguments", I've been sleeping reeaally late in the morning, because obviously I've been spending that time, erm... bawling my eyes out. ...Oh, my BRAIN..I know you're trying to brainwash me to forget him, but my Heart's really trying her best to refrain me from doing that.So stop it with the constant debates, purless. Coz it's killing me.

Anyway,

Momentum was AWESOME! I was sitting in the front most seat, and there was one thing that I learnt from just sitting there.

I seriously CANNOT be an audience! I mean, what was I thinking?? I should have been up there dancing on stage with the rest!

Well, I've learnt that, "a dancer should always grab any opportunities to perform, because opportunites don't come knocking twice."

So... no matter how much I have to attend to, it's really all about managing time properly.

Life's short. I want to achieve as much as I want!

2008-05-21T21:51:00.001+08:00

Love is...?

Love is Sacrifice.
Love is Give and take.
Love is Understand.
Love is Patience.

But what if you know at the end of the day, you're at the losing end after all?

It's a lose-lose situation, I would think.

Imagine, you're stuck in a situation where, you know you're at the losing end, yet you don't want to get yourself out of the situation.

The feeling just sucks. But at least I'm not alone facing the same shit. Somehow I know we'll both get our answers real soon yeah babe? =)

I thought I was finally getting over it, oh so I thought. It all came back...and it left me thinking. Will my decision be unchanged at the of the day?

Hmm... We'll see, shall we...?

2008-05-13T08:43:00.007+08:00

"Why is life always making it a fact that when one likes another, the other will not reciprocate the love and yet fall for another and never the one?"

True. I totally agree. Weird, but true, isn't it? Then, if that's the case, how do you know when you really love someone? Is there even true love in this world?

Human beings...They're always never contented with what they have.

I think I’ve been talking too much about that being. Ok stop it.

Anyways, I went to check out the gigs at the esplanade waterfront, and Ballads of the Cliche was love! They're seriously a bunch of reaalllyy cute guys who play really cool and sweet music!

Awesome.

...and I really am sooo in love with "French Riviera". A really sweet and romantic song. Love it. =) In fact you're listengin to it right now, on my blog!

Bumped into Irfan, Fifa and the bunch. They're were love! Totally cracking me up all the way home.

Oh! Oh!

I had a slight accident yesterday in school. Had filming yesterday and was supposed to return the equipments after shooting. Ok, imagine. A videocamera tripod stand, a big long boom microphone, two boxes. Landed right on top of my head. I swear after that, I lost my sense of balance. But thank God, I had company home. Oklah, only till the train station, but was good enough.

...and my head's spinning right now. Ouch...

2008-05-06T14:36:00.002+08:00

The Wait.

5 months. And the wait is still on. And I have got no idea how long I still have to do this. I admit, at times, I felt like giving up, and I didnt know what to do. But God gave me signs, time and again, telling me to hang on. He's always popping everywhere around me, each time I asked God for signs. I know, I know... Sounds very cliché, but I swear they really happened. Sometimes, I think its pointless. But what to do, I love that being. Yes, I do. I’ll just wait, and go with the flow. =)

Anyway, I'm fat. I know I am. So I’m sticking to no carbo dieting, slimming tea, exercises, and dance. I really hope this works. It's NOT gonna be easy.

2008-05-02T14:18:00.000+08:00

Hopeless.

Very uncomfortable. Very fake. Simply can’t imagine how I’m going to survive. Definitely not gonna be easy. How? How? So many stuff to think about. Don’t even wanna think about them.

Damn .

I’m talking in bits and pieces.

Argh.

I need a miracle.

2008-04-29T15:28:00.001+08:00

Human beings can be unpredictable. Really.

I can’t really blame them, though. It’s just...them. Human beings. But then again, human beings have been given the ability to think and reflect. Sadly, they don’t actually make use of their ability, do they?

Shame on them.

They’ve been given a sound mind by God. Use it, damn it. Instead of being hypocrites, talk it out. What’s the benefit of pretending to be ignorant? What do they get out of it?

Nothing. But sins.

Reflect.

2008-04-22T13:27:00.005+08:00

..It's just a sad, sad decision...

I just made the biggest sacrifice in my life. And it's difficult. I'm already missing the company, the routines. K, I'm gonna bawl again.

2008-04-14T13:54:00.003+08:00

OMS Show.

Finally, another performance off the dance list. But OMS Show was a great show, chaotic backstage, but fun. Costumes were hot,( though I had slight wardrobe malfunction on stage), company was love, camwhoring was a must! After the OMS Show, the usual peeps rushed down to UCC to catch out dear Zuhara’s Kusumawangi production. The production was simply awesome! When will I ever stop dancing? I guess not anytime soon, people!

Nurun's sweet.

My kid bro.

Aww.De cutie Hyrul. He's really shy in person!

Zub & Asri.Hotness.

2008-04-07T12:32:00.010+08:00

Love makes us do crazy things.

Trueness. I think I'm crazy enough to actually think about doing that. I was at first quite determined to do it. But now, I'm scared. Worried. What if this was a wrong thing to do right from the start? I don't wanna lose another one.

Meanwhile...

It's the first day of school today, no more holidays!...for now. So how did i spend the hols? Dance, dance, chilling out with the rest, dance..and... dance! =D

Your boyfriend's staring.=D
Dessert @ ramen ten, with bestie Alfie.

Watcha looking at?

We thought we could communicate like E.T...

the not-so-bitcy-Nad.

Chilling out with my fellow "deer", Angie.

Soundwaves photoshoots..with Jin!

So, the question now is, should I, should I not?

2008-03-12T16:42:00.000+08:00

Beautiful love stories that made me tear.

The leap years & P.S I love you. Two very sweet love stories that simply made me tear in the theatres. Both days well-spent with my lovely girlfriends. They’re love, we laughed at all the stupid lame jokes, reminiscing the old days, checking out the hotties in town... all over dinner and shopping!

I’ve been spending my time outside, be it going for dance, or just spending time with my girlfriends. I’ll do anything, just to get my mind off things. I’ll do anything just to numb myself. I’ll do anything, just to get those cold hard facts out of my head.

I’m seriously trying so very hard to make myself feel better. Putting up a brave front is really not easy. If I could scream and shout, I will. If I could run away, I will. if I could bawl like a baby, I will.

I’m tired. Of all these nonsense. Just when are they gonna end?

2008-03-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

My life's full of unanswered questions.

My life's a bitch. Everything has gone topsy turvy, upside down. And I hate it. I fucking hate it. I'm not a doll, damn it. I bloody have feelings. But why? Why do I always get hurt? Why do I always cry? Why do you people have to do this kind of things to me?? I'm so tired of thinking, so very tired.

Be honest... or just leave me alone.

2008-03-03T14:35:00.004+08:00

It's over.

I can't believe it's finally over. THE most dreaded day in my calendar. Thinking back, there were so much drama, so much stress, and so much unhappiness, that it seriously pulled my morale down every second. Plus the fact that hip-hop’s sooo not my genre, and that I was always trying my best to get the groove and all. It's really saddening and demoralising to see the team just breaking apart days before the day itself. And being me, I just can't bear to be like them. I know I have to be the one being positive and motivating each member in the team, although they have got no idea how much effort that took me because I myself have got no motivation to motivate my own self! But for the sake of the team, I hid all of my insecurities. But, nevertheless, I still had fun that day.

Unexpected meet ups with unexpected people on that same day. Shocking, but was nice to see them again.

Oh. thanks nad for cuming over that day. LOVES =)

de lovely yvonne.

...and de best fren.

2008-02-26T09:28:00.003+08:00

Danceworks in 4 days time?? God.

I've been dancing everyday. No kidding. But then again, nothing new. P.A, late night dance sessions preparing for Danceworks...and I'm still not confident of myself!...not unless, my source of motivation come and support me on the competition day itself! That's all I’m asking luh. For him to be there. =)

my way of destressing after all that dancing? Camwhore.

P.A's sessions' are a bore without him around. =)

Hopefully, everything's gonna turn out fine, eventually. Pray for me.

2008-02-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

Motivate me, please.

Competitions aren't fun if everything’s just not progressing the right way. Competitions aren't fun when everyone's demoralised.

I'm not motivated. The worst part, everything's not really settled, not really confirmed. And it's just about a week away.

Damn. Make me happy please, someone.

I’m just not me anymore.

2008-02-18T23:28:00.002+08:00

At least I know you do.

The last few days were hectic. It was sooo hectic that even on Valentine's Day. I danced my ass out that whole day. Nope, no gifts, flowers whatsoever, but something happened that made the day even more memorable. Just that one incident and it made think about what I assumed before. Perhaps I was wrong all these while. Perhaps he did care after all. Whatever it is, I was deeply touched and thankful for whatever he did that night. =D

Chingay on the other hand, was...alright. Totally despised the costume, the song. But the company was love!

I still made it down to Apsara Asia's free dance day, even though I only had a few hours of sleep the night after Chingay, and I swear I was super groggy in the morning. But nevertheless, it was kinda worth it, especially when I got to see Shah ,Max and Shanti again! Shah's modern contemporary and asian fusion classes were super awesome, Max's hiphop was hilarious, and Shanti's salsa was of course, super hot! =D

More dancing just now, hanging out with the people I adore...

...and right now. I desperately need some shut eye. And my fever's back. God. What timing.

2008-02-12T15:21:00.000+08:00

When will I ever stop?

Dancefreak. When will I ever stop dancing? This holidays alone, I'm packed with dance sessions. Chingay, P.A, Danceworks and not forgetting the infamous Mr Z’s Luigi/technique classes. Once a dancer, always a dancer... =D

Getting ready for dance.

Take a break? Camwhore then!

No. We're not. Wateva you're thinking.

De aftermath of excessive dancing.

I miss you.

2008-02-06T21:29:00.000+08:00

Food, food and more food!

Officially on hols, like finally. As usual, more dancing during the hols, more hanging out with the usual peeps... and the first few lucky peeps who got to hang out with me was de lovely Nad! Bitching session was a must, accompanied by food, food and more food! I swear I was super bloated.

Imagine...chicken puff, kfc zinger burger and cheesefries, ice-cream toasts from kallang and Macs! God knows what I was thinking.

Oh wait. Yes I was thinking. Thinking of the suitable way to...ahem*shhh* =D

Oh well, hey you! Life's not over yet, so hang on okay? I'm sure you're gonna find that much need sunshine in you soon. =D

2008-01-30T12:08:00.000+08:00

Oreo cheesecake makes her smile. Chocolate cupcakes makes him smile.

I had the most sinful breakfast 2 days back. McCafe's Oreo cheesecake. Just one piece and I was contented. Anndd....I had brownies with vanilla ice cream just before dance that same night. Not only that, I had another helping of brownies and vanilla ice cream in school yesterday. Ahhh...Heavenly delights. Oreo cheesecake just makes me smile. And chocolate cupcakes makes him smile.

They weren't just any normal chocolates cupcakes, mind you. They're special cupcakes, wanted by many, handmade by de lady herself. And I was glad my trusty cupcakes at least made him smile. It's nice to make other people happy, especially if the one feeling down's your own dear friends.

Smile! And the world smiles with you.

2008-01-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Excuse me?

If my reactions' what you want, then all the more you're not getting it. Alright, I might be thinking too much into things, but, that's just what I'm seeing. And God knows how much discomfort it was causing me. But of course, I'm not doing anything about it, I definitely can't, can I...? If I could, I would.

Whatever their reasons were, be it intentionally, or not, it just makes me feel soo out of place whenever I see it happening.

Yarh...yarh... it's wrong to be saying all these, but God...

Sometimes, I just wish I could just...make them realise my existence there...like...hello?!? I'm not invisible, ya know...

Oh heck. He's still the one I'm falling into, no matter what people say.

Get it? No? Good. =)

2008-01-20T22:31:00.000+08:00

Bitching sessions & chocolates!

Bitching session with nad was the love last night. Much needed bitching was done over dinner, and more on the way back home. God knows there was sooo much to bitch bout, especially after the rollercoaster ride of emotions yesterday. Bitched about the guys, the ex-classmates, the new hotties in town...

Oh! Chocolates therapy was the sex for me these few days. Well, when eerah starts her chocolate therapy, ohhh... that just means, she’s just not having a great time in her life right now. And two kind souls were sweet enough to give me a big sinful treat, just to make me feel better. Thanks,Lynn & Razi, you lovebirds! =)

Who needs one, when you’ve got a whole lot of others to make you happy? Ok. i should stop kidding myself, but still... nevermind.

I miss you though.

Ok stop it.

2008-01-18T20:21:00.000+08:00

Typical.

It's a typical love story. Typical, typical.

This song's de sex, baby!

=)

2008-01-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

Talk. Please.

Once, and it was a total stab in the heart. That’s all it takes to make me think excessively. That’s all it takes to make me tear. And it’s ridiculous. Ridiculous. I don’t know how to think, what to think, what to do, what to expect, why is it like this, why, why, why... blah...blah...blah... unfortunately this is my new routine every single day.

I don’t get it. I don’t get anything at all.

Talk. Tell me something I don’t know.

2008-01-14T22:58:00.000+08:00

Situations.

It sucks to be in a lot of situations. Especially with many people involved. Many feelings to take care of. But it sucks even more, when I know perfectly well that the one getting hurt the most, is me, myself and I.

I don’t like to think coz when I think, I’ll get confused, and when I get confused, I would wanna run away from everything. And that’s exactly what I did today.

On a happier note, my dearest bro’s touching down from Thailand tml nite! God knows how much I miss him. =)

~ I've tried, but I can't...~

2008-01-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

My dearest bro smsed me from thailand.

And I cried.

Heh. =X

2008-01-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

The one that...

The one that makes my palms sweat.
The one that makes me nervous when it's around.
The one who makes my heart beat slower and faster at the same time.
The one that gives me goosebumps all the time.
The one that makes me smile like a fool all the time.
The one that makes me cry each time it comes into mind.
The one that irritates me because of its indecisiveness.
The one that makes me worried when it's on the low side of life.
The one that makes me stare at blank space when it's not around.

The one...
The one...
The one...

Argh.

2008-01-08T15:21:00.000+08:00

Change.

I got response from people that I've changed. Changed for the better, they said.

My reaction?

Me: “...really?”

Perhaps. I’m not sure. But after the response from the people involved, I did reflected about the supposedly “change” in me, and yes, there is some change in me, somehow.

Change is good...is it? At least for my case, it might be a good change. From someone really reserved to someone more open, loud and definitely more”bitchy” (in the words of the people involved =)). And weird enough, I feel good about the “change”.

Yes. I wanna see more changes in my life. New year, new changes. Good changes that makes me happy, that is. Just let this new year fill me with the much needed love, luck, happiness, all the good things in the world!

=)

2008-01-04T19:21:00.000+08:00

Difficult times...

I love him like hell! I miss you! =D

He has been my all time best friend, bitch partner, loyal listener, "boy-friend", fashion critic, punching bag, dance partner,duet partner... Imagine spending 2 weeks without him, just spells hell. It has only been 4 days, but I'm missing him like hell. But, he was really sweet enough to send me an sms all the way from Thailand, sending his hugs and kisses to everyone in S'pore. Aww...

I know this sounds childish, baby-ish..whatever you call them...but hey, I'm just being sweet.. =D

I just hope he's doing fine there and bring back lotsa goodies for me darling! Got loads to bitch about, my dear bro! =D

2008-01-02T14:14:00.000+08:00

New year’s eve, girlfriends and cupcakes!

New year’s eve started of with lots of stirring, filling, baking and of course, when you have 3 gals in the same room, all they could talk about was...what else.. if not about boys. Baking cupcakes had never been so fun, unless of course you’re doing them with your girlfriends! And while waiting for the cupcakes to bake, there’s always room to bitch and gossip about! I swear the kitchen was polluted with our laughter. The funny part was that each of us was making the cupcakes for somebody else, specifically guys! Well, I don’t know what happened to the other cupcakes, but what I know, my cupcakes most certainly made somebody else happy. (Ain’t it? =)), though of course he almost didn’t get it that day. But as always I didn’t had the heart to do that, since the cupcakes was specially made for him, so being the nice Munirah, the cupcakes was brought to him, safe and sound. =)

“The last day of 2007, spent with you, was incredible. Though may not seem much to you, but just being there, and feeling your presence near me, was more than I could have asked for. As usual, your small little actions made the night even more unforgettable, especially when I could see the effort you put in, trying so hard to “kill the raging fire with cold water”. Thanks. "

2007-12-22T19:18:00.000+08:00

Odyssey – the journey of man in search of his identity.

Congrats to RP MCG members for putting up an awesome show that night! Odyssey was so inspiring that night that it actually made me tempted to get in touch with the “malay dance” side of me, after sooo long! Overall, the show was an impressive one.. =)

There’s something about those moments that makes them…unforgettable. It’s those small and simple actions that make them funny, but sweet at the same time. They're so unforgettable that every single moment seemed to be playing in my mind, like a movie. Especially each time when I'm alone. And each time "the movie" starts to play in my head, I'll start smiling like a fool. The feeling's indescribable at times, no...most of the time, in fact. But then again, that's just my interpretation of those moments. What the other person thinks, I might not know. Might be different from mine, then again, might not be. We'll see... What I know, you, yes, you, have left a big impact in my life now. Thanks. =)

2007-12-21T13:05:00.000+08:00

Internalise...and lock it in!

The opportunity came suddenly.Didn't know how to react, didn't know what to expect. After a few seconds, one thing was for sure. I'm going for it. But, next came "the obstacle" at home. Almost didn't make it. But... it was a miracle "the obstacle" gave in the next morning. =)

The experience wasn't like what we expected at all. It wasn't at all bad, but wasn't at all good either. They were all better than us, wayy better. But there wasn't much bond amongst the rest of them. Juniors aside, seniors aside. Not much fun and laughter, just serious business in there.

But, the trip there was not a wasted one. There were so much to learn about, so much to get inspirations from. Overall, a very inspiring trip, despite the cold treatment we got.

2007-12-13T22:32:00.000+08:00

Love? … Not yet.

A lot of guy friends , but no special one. So what..? Having more friends are more important than having to try to find the “Right One”. Just not the right time…yet. Not until I’ve found the so-called, “right person”.

A “relationship”, is just a term to show that two persons of the opposite gender (...I hope...) is “officially” one. Supposedly.

Oh come on. One does not have to be “official” to be together. Just as long as the feelings there.

“Liking” someone’s easy. “Loving” someone’s not. Just not my kinda thing…yet. =D

2007-12-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

I wanna read your mind!

Sometimes, I just wish I could read other people’s mind. I wanna know what they think of me, what they think about when they’re alone, what’s the latest gossip in town, who's their eyecandy...and the list goes on.

Super cool, ain't it?

But, too bad, all these things doesn't happen in reality. I'm living in a realistic world, where dreams will forever be dreams. Where reality...hurts sometimes. I'd rather be living in my own world, at least my dreams make me happy.

Alright, alright. Enough ranting about dreams.

Back to reality,Munirah. =)

2007-12-09T19:50:00.000+08:00

I’m thankful for your existence in my life.

If every drop of water disappeared from the land
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

What if I woke up and couldn't hear a sound
And all that I could see was darkness all around
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

If I could have the world and all that money could buy
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the day
If they gave me golden wings,
Well I still couldn't fly
Without you, nothing would matter

You and I walk beside each other day after day
But there's so much inside me, I never get to say
My life would be so empty with nothing left to feel
If you didn't love me

Know me. Understand me. Love me.

Will you?

2007-12-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

Revelations...

Finally I can heave a sigh of relief. After all that gruesome rehearsals, our hard work finally paid off. Below are some snaps of the performance itself. COURTESY OF MY DEAREST COUSIN IKHLAS'S CAM...( ..there you go , Ikhlas.. =D)

De very first scene- Soophranaka's magical forest.

De love between Rama and Sita- Danced by our very own Shahrin and Lynn!

De golden deer scene - Peacocks danced by our dearest Sandhya and Vineetha !

Not forgetting the golden deers - That's me up there! =) Watch the vid below to see the deer scene!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DwKlPQmS8vE

De rest of the golden deers - danced by Angie, Nana, Punitha, Valli and Shamini, and me!

De abduction of Sita by the Ravana warriors - danced by Ms Devi, Yogesh, Ali, Koustav and Surin!

Yew Huat, Nad, Lin and de rest, Alfred, Yang Zhi, Laxhmi, Dicki and G! =) Thanks for the support!

Oh how sweet...

...and thnks Asri for the support too! Will come down to support your's next Sat! =)

Overall, a very satisfying production, new friends. I've grown, matured through this production.Thanks all for the love, the support! =)

2007-12-04T11:27:00.000+08:00

Final countdown.

The very last rehearsal…and it’s finally showtime. If you ask me if I’m ready for it, I would love to say that I’m all geared up to entertain the audience tomorrow. But… somehow, that’s not the case. Physically, in terms of getting the choreography right, might not be too much of a problem. But mentally, I’m drained out. Energy level depleting, immune system’s weakened, stress level increasing. The best part, after every rehearsal, there would always be critics about the rehearsals. Dance steps not executed out properly, limp expressions, wrong timing, costume clash, props missing… In short, there would always be something that went wrong during the rehearsals or something that’s not up to their standards. I’m not surprised there’re cock-ups everywhere. Continuous rehearsals, stretching till late at night…pushing every single cast to their limits, temper rising high… imagine a rubber band being stretched and stretched until it reaches it’s stretch limit and eventually…snaps. I guess we’re all like over-stretched rubber bands now and we can all snap anytime.

The last phase… we need more encouragements to get the energy level and team spirit rising up. But seeing how the debrief turned out last night really pulled us down. For me at least. Not enough in the theater, more happened at home. Come on, please! This is a crucial period for me. I seek for your understanding, at least. Is that too much to ask for..???

While my fingers are typing out these rants, that probably no one would even understand, my mind was a mess. A whole lot of stuff was going haywire in there.

But while things were quite chaotic at my side now, I’m thankful for his existence there. Seeing him there, at least sparks some motivation for me to perform well. He’s an interesting guy, with an interesting personality and incredible talent. At least that's something to look forward to and to smile about...

Meanwhile, one more rehearsal to pull through later on... Expect a lot of pushing, rushing, naggings... the list goes on...

For now, just let me think of his existance in my life... and least that's making me smile, besides my trusty chocolates! =)

2007-11-27T12:18:00.000+08:00

System.Shut.Down.

My body's giving way real soon. I'm so physically tired that even my mind's not functioning properly. Affecting my studies..? No doubt. But then again... it's only for a few more rehearsals, and its showtime. But, rehearsal's soo intensive that..it's killing me soon. Imagine dancing in about 6 scenes. Imagine the mad rush for costume and makeup change backstage. Imagine the amount of choreography to memorise.Imagine the amount of sweat, bruises and muscleaches after every rehearsals.Imagine the chaos, the stress.Ergh.

School's just making it worse. Work. Housework.

It's just endless.

My system's shutting down soon.

2007-11-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

The Drama.

Passion + Commitments + Sweat + Blood + Bruises + Muscleaches + Scoldings + Stress

= Revelations.

= 1 week 5 days.

Sick.

2007-11-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

Tagged.

I've been tagged by dear Kholique to complete this quiz. So here goes, dearie! =)

The person who tagged you is ? Kholique

Your relationship with him is ? Close buddies since secondary school.

Your impression of him ? Lame, funny, caring.

The most memorable thing he has done for you ? He was there to protect me when I was scared and had problems with my ex.

If he becomes your lover, you will ? Treasure him well, because I believe he's a loyal lover ( to me lah =D)

If he becomes your lover, things he have to improve ? Become less hot-tempered?

If he becomes your enemy, you will .. ? Try ways to make peace and be friends again.

If he becomes your enemy the reason is ? Misunderstandings

Your overall impression of him ? Very protective of his friends

How do you think ppl ard you will think abt that person? A nice friend.

2007-11-16T19:15:00.000+08:00

I should stop thinking too much.

Counting down to Revelations: 2 weeks 5 days.

*SHUDDERS.*

Confidence level at the moment: 75%

*SHRIEKS!*

So many stuff to do, so little time.
So many stuff to achieve, so little motivation.
Scram! Flu bugs!Scram!
I still need my energy to get going.

~feeling random. heh.~

2007-11-13T09:46:00.000+08:00

Experience jealousy, love, lust,evil, violence in....Revelations.

Sounds interesting..? Well, of course it is! ...and why's that so...? Coz I'm dancing for it.. HAHAH! Alright,seriously..this dance production IS worth watching because it's the modern dance IG's first production, plus collaborating with the bestest dancers, the ICG group and the Gamelan Asmaradana guys.

Coolness or wat..?

So.. just come down and support us, will ya..? Just book the tickets at Gatecrash, http://www.gatecrash.com.sg/?page=event_detail&actionForm=detail&eventID=324

or simply call me up to buy tickets! Don't you dare go alone... Bring lotsa company along yea..?? Oh!..perhaps some banners and posters would be nice...

Nah..I'm just kidding about the poster part... =)

Aniwaes.. you guys must come and support us.. because we've sacrificed a lot of time, energy, sweat and blood,preparing for this 50 min production..Not forgetting the bruises and muscle aches that come with it..

So... you guys know what to do yea..? ;)

Take note of the date yea peeps!

2007-11-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

4 "P"s!!!

I freaking had the 4 "P"s done.. just today. [P]rofessional [P]rofilling [P]oster [P]resentation. Damn those "P"s.

But then... I think I did fine for my presentation just now. Imagine me, being in semi-formal wear, ( not forgetting the heels, of course..)..came to school at 1 pm , just to print the F*@(*@( ** mind the language peepo**..posters... and damn..I really ran all over school.. just to get 8 pathetic pieces of paper printed out. Lets check out what really happened today.

1pm - 115pm
Was at photocopy shop in school. The printing auntie was suppppeerrrr..slow. There were even a queue outside of the shop... and the best part... I din had a single bite since morning, and i swear I almost fainted in there.. Coz it was stuffy in that pathetic small shop plus I was having gastric... Ergh.

115pm - 150 pm

I gave up queuing in that shop, went over to try my luck at the printing room in the library. I thought it was finally working..Or so I thought. Didn't even work there.

150pm - 230pm

Gave up. Went over to causeway point just to try and get the posters printed out. and by then.. I was dying of pain in my stomach..and on my feet because of blisters. Damn those heels!

3 pm- 350pm

Finally got my posters printed out.grabbed a bite back in school. and then. THE presentation.!!!..which was alrite.. wahahah..

What a day. And I'm freaking glad it's finally over. Now, I can cross those damn 4"P"s from my time-table!

2007-10-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

Women.

Just something random about the typical vocab women use when talking to men...and boy..how I love these descriptions. So true..

1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement oftenmisunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here andarguing with you about nothing. (Referback to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statement a woman can make to a man.That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks
If a woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you'rewelcome.

8. Whatever
Is a women's way of saying F@*K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"For the woman's response refer to #3.

OH!OH!

I dreamt of Zac Efron last nite!..God knows why... Hah! Dreamt that we were in the dance studion with Vanessa Hudgens, rehearsing for something. I was singing "Everyday" with Zac, and Van got all green-eyed! HAHA! Can't believe I dreamt of something like that.

2007-10-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

Shhh...I dun even wanna know.

Raya's been fine.. School has been...(erggghh...)Dance has been..exhausting. So many stuff to complete, so little time. Sometimes, I just wanna run away from all these burdens and just... relax, have fun...

Being alone ain't fun at all. No one to be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. No one to be there to give you hugs when you need them. No one to protect you and to give you that sense of security, when you're all alone. No one to say how much he appreciates and love you as a person. I'm not choosy. I just want the best for myself. But, I'm getting the wrong kind of people in my life. The kind of people whom I have no feelings of affection for. But the ones I do have feelings for, just remains as an unfulfilled dream. Will never be possible.

I'm not a very strong person, not like what most of the people out there see me as. I need love, care & concern,protection, romance, surprises... Asking for too much? ....I guess. Maybe there is no such person that exist in this world that actually has all of the above mentioned qualities...

Anyway,how does one know if he/she is the "Right One" ...?

2007-10-17T13:37:00.000+08:00

Liar.

I HATE it when someone lies to me. Especially if it's coming from "H". I CAN'T believe YOU did that to me. YOU freaking lied to me. Your "last" night here, indeed!!! So much for that, huh?? You didn't think I'll find out, did you? Well, I did. All that "drama" the night before...BULLSHIT! Leaving this place...? Hah! You know what? I don't care. I really don't. You can jolly well spend your time with HER here. Oh, and even if you're really leaving Singapore...for good, well, all the better. Just leave... I don't even wanna remember you. Thanks for making a fool out of me. Thanks... for nothing.

Missy Eerah

2007-10-10T20:44:00.000+08:00

I just love these bitches!

Hari raya's appoaching soon!! Real soon! Gonna camwhore with de cousins soon, I hope.. Haha.

PP's really pissing me off. Lotsa amendments to make, pp poster..bla bla... and the evaluation date's coming closer. DARN.

But, heck. I'll rayer first.. hahaha!!

To all of my Muslim friends,

Selamat hari rayer!! Maaf zahir batin yee... Haf fun peeps! =D

Missy Eerah

2007-10-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

3 G, 1 H...

After so long, I actually am going through that situation you see up there. (...go figure..) but the answer's actually already in me..I guess .. Out of those 3, only one managed to somehow almost win me. =) In fact, we both do have sort of the same feelings for each other, I guess. But then again, it's still too early to say anything lah. Going with the flow. The only thing that I can sy, he's kinda special. =)

Missy Eerah

2007-10-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

Unfair.

3 words. I HATE SCHOOL. De lessons? They're the sources of most of my headaches! ..and de facillitators?? Erghh... worse... I'm getting grades that I should'nt have gotten, which made my blood boil, just thinking about it. They're not noticing my efforts and hard work, damn it!

Missy Eerah

~ I think you're kinda special.~

2007-09-26T22:34:00.000+08:00

A small act of kindness can make a big difference.

I wasn't in a good mood these days, and today was no exception. Until...somebody just made me smile.

I was waiting for the bus home after dinner just now, when a man suddenly stood right in front of me. I was already on the verge of cursing and swearing because he wanted to cut the bus queue. But when I looked up, the negative thoughts in my head vanished, when I saw his white stick.

It was a blind man.

He was asking the people around him to inform him when the bus arrives. Since I was the nearest to him there, I answered him. When the bus arrived, I held his hand and told him in mandarin, " uncle ni de bus lai le." and he went " oh ni shi hua ren mah?"

Then I told him, my story about me being a malay , but learnt mandarin since I was small. and he said, " wah.. not bad.. your mandarin's good."

After that, he alighted a few busstops before me.

He was a stranger to me. And he couldn't see me, but I felt his sincerity when we were talking. And that made me smile.

To that blind uncle: Thanks for making me feel good about myself. =)

Missy Eerah

2007-09-23T20:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know. I really don't.

Sometimes, you're just soo down that you think everyone and everything seems to be against you. Everything just seems soo wrong. But how do I even make myself better?

Tml's de start of another mundane school & dance week... De new class so far?? Not bad... De lessons and facilliators??...ooohhh..Boring.( with a capital B..) De usual coding, java-ing, computer language and terms....Bleah...

..and that one particular person..my goodness.. can't you just mind your business?? You're freaking me and my friends out, for goodness sake!!

Missy Eerah

2007-09-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

Confused.Guilty.

So many stuff happened, that I just don't know how to react. So many things to achieve, so little time to rest. Everything's just not right. Unexpected surprises here and there. Sigh.. It's just too much stuff in my head that I can't even put it in words here. It's that bad.

" Oh God. Give me the strength to overcome all Your obstacles that You have given me."

Missy Eerah

2007-09-16T12:05:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna be into you, if you're not looking for true love.

De last day of hols..3 weeks of hols doesn't even feel like it was really 3 weeks... and tomorrow..another new class, new faces, new modules.. and the usual routines continues..School, dance..school, dance... That's my life..a mundane one, that is.

I just hope the new class's a bunch of nice people..If not...I'm too afraid to even imagine how I'll cope in school ! ...and dance..just hope that it won't be taking too much of my time.. I haven't been spending my time on other stuff because of dance...

Oh wells.. I just hope life would be better... a new semester..a new start..

Missy Eerah

2007-09-13T20:48:00.000+08:00

I'm over you.. but why do I still feel the pain??

You told me once that you were going to leave me here, all alone.. I was shattered..I was a mess..but eventually you came back, for me...

Now, you're telling me the same thing again... but I still felt the same way like I felt the previous time. Why?

I just want you to be happy there..Do me a favour..Start a new life and forget me...

Missy Eerah

2007-09-10T19:51:00.000+08:00

7 reasons why guys are idiotic...

1) They never hear things the way you mean for them to hear it.
2)They can make you laugh when you still want to be mad at them.
3)They flirt without meaning it, unless it's someone besides you.
4)They are never on time to where they are supposed to be.
5)Sometimes they don't even show up.
6)They can be jerks and never apologize but you forgive them anyways.
7)They can make you love them, even when all you want to do is hate them.

Sorry if some guys are actually disturbed by this post.. =x

Missy Eerah

2007-09-07T13:19:00.000+08:00

The loss of someone very dear.. a blessing in disguise?

Before she closed her eyes, I managed to watch her looking so happy trying out her new baju kurung that my uncle bought for her... But, now, she will never get to wear it for hari raya... She left peacefully on monday night, leaving all her beloved husband, children and grandchildren whom she loved soo much...

Perhaps her passing away is a blessing in disguise for the family in a way..? The bad past..Never-ending quarrels, not visiting each other during hari raya, talking bad about each other... it breaks my heart seeing the family like that, and it definitely broke my late granma's heart... But now, seeing the family all happy last night.. finally, the day that I have been waiting for.. the day where the whole family realise we actually need each other to survive... I've missed all my cousins...my aunts and uncles.. I've missed them. I've dreamt of them countless of times...Now that, we are all moving on, leaving the bad past behind..I just hope it will last.. for as long as we can...

I was very happy last night.. finally feeling all the love from the cousins, the aunts and the uncles whom I've not been talking to for ages... I've missed them all.. and now we're all together.. all for one...

I love you Granma...

May you rest in peace... Insyaallah..

Al-Fatihah.

Missy Eerah

2007-09-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

I'm not perfect, damn it!!

Some people just can't be abit more sensitive.... Yes, you're trying to make me realise the reality of it.. but can't you be more sensitive about it? Like telling me nicely about the damn matter?? I'm not a mannequin who doesn't have a single fcuking feeling about anything..OKAY??

I know I might not be that good at it, but come on, nobody's perfect right?? Don't you guys have the slightest idea that I felt hurt after knowing all that?? It's not that I don't accept critisms..I do.. Constructive critisms, that is.. not just throwing words at me...

I know who I am.. I know where I stand..

..so.. thanks..you just made me lose my self-confidence...

Missy Eerah

2007-08-31T20:49:00.000+08:00

Dance Devotees!

Mars vs Venus...

Guys.Love.Relationship.Bleah... Am I really that hard to please? ..Or am I just..picky? Well.. who doesn't want the best for herself right?

Well..let's just say.. I have a friend who has a guy friend. The guy's really nice to her, in fact, can say, they're quite close lah. The thing is, she does have this really, tiny, weeny crush on this guy.. but.. she's worried if it doesn't go the same way for the guy...

Oh wells.. that's why I say.. relationships? guys?? Nah... Just let it come naturally.. Love will come to you without you realising it.. =)

Missy Eerah

2007-08-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

Pretty lil thing ain't it?

" You changed into somebody you're not... Where's the old you that I knew? I think you're ridiculous... Changing into somebody you're not just because of a little obstacle... I just hope you're alright.. "

Unhappiness aside...

I've got this really funny email... It's darn funny that I still laugh at it when I read it again...So here goes...

"I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Haha.. OMG..

"Life is tough... it's tougher if you're stupid."

=D

Missy Eerah

2007-08-23T16:00:00.000+08:00

Quiz Ahoy!! =D

1.Your ex and you

* are history…

2. I am listening to

* Katherine Mcphee- Over it.

3. Maybe I should

* kill “HER”!

4. I love

* errm...”him”??

5. Chocolate

* Sinful delights!!!

6. I dont understand

* why some people just want to piss the shit out of me.

7. I have lost my respect for

* people who don’t respect ME…

8. I last ate

* Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Crème! Sinful!

9.The meaning of my display name is

* only for me to know and for you to find out…

10. God

* loves anyone who love HIM.

11. Someday

* 1) have my own singing concert 2) be the lead dancer for some dance performance.

12. I will always remember

* to brush my teeth after I wake up. DUH!

13. Love seems to

* playing tricks on me. Where’s my true love when you need it?

14. I never ever want to lose

* my family and friends.

15. My Friendster is

* sweet…

16.Tomorrow I will

* make sure I wake up late. It’s the hols, baby!

17. I get annoyed when

* I get accused or maligned for something I have never done.

18. Parties

* Nah… unless there’re HOT guys there!

19. Simple kisses

* are sweet and innocent…

20. Today I’m

* gonna sweat it all out during dance!

21. I wish

* I could have more wishes.

IS YOUR / ARE YOU...

01. is your hair wet?

* No.

02. is your cell phone right by you?

* Right by my side. All the time.

03. do you miss someone?

* Not really…

04. are you wearing chap stick?

* Yes. De lips need treatment for some pucker up business!

05. are you tired?

* A little

06. are you wearing pajamas?

* NAH.

07. are you mad?

* No. Are you?

08. are you upset?

* Wasn’t. Am now.

HAVE YOU...

01. Recently done something you regret?

* Sort of…

02. ever stuck gum under a desk?

* oh yeah…

03. ever kicked someone?

* YARH!

04. ever tripped over your own feet?

* Amazingly, I did.

TODAY HAVE YOU...

01. cursed?

* I just did when I read this.

02. have you gotten mad at someone?

* YARH!

Q3. person who is on your mind right now?

* DARN… do I really have to say who?

Q4. do you have any siblings?

* YES.

Q5. do you want children?

* Of course la.

Q6. do you smile often?

* Guys faint when they see me smile. =D

Q7. do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?

* I don’t wear shoes. They make me look short. =x

Q8. do you like your handwriting?

* I don’t write now. I type.

Q9. are your toenails painted?

* Painted? No. Pedicure? Hell yes!

Q10. are you a friendly person?

* Oh yes I am. =)

Q11. whose bed other than yours do you sleep in?

*My mum’s!

Q12. what color shirt are you wearing?

* I’m red HOT today!

Q13. what were you doing at 7pm yesterday?

* Helping my kid bro with his homework…

Q14. I cant wait for

* My true love to arrive…

Missy Eerah

2007-08-22T14:31:00.000+08:00

Lovely Ladies of W65K...

The semester's finally gonna be over this thurs.. and then....Aloha holidays !!! =) But, it ain't gonna be fun, fun , fun all the time, unfortunately... Gonna sweat it all out during dance sessions, preparing for my uncle's wedding in like 2 weeks time... and.. of course, the PP project... There goes my hols...

But, whatever it is, the hanging out sessions with the lovely ladies and the guys will be a must !!!

Holidays...here I come!!! =)

Missy Eerah

2007-08-16T22:22:00.000+08:00

Pure, innocent singing from a 7 year old...

I was cleaning my room last wednesday, when I actually came across an old cassette. Out of curiousity, I played the cassette and... I was glad I found it... It was actually a recording of my singing when I was just 7 years old... Total cuteness! I can't believe my singing actually sounded that cute when I was just 7... hahaha..

When I thought about it, I actually realise that I've been singing since soo long... haha..at a mere young age...

Anyway..

Ever dreamt (literally...) of actually achieving something that you really want?? And that dream actually gave you the much needed confidence and encouragement to make you feel that anything's possible?? But, when reality crashed in, it just hurts soo much to know that the opportunity was just not to meant to be yours???

Oooh..harsh... Maybe I am not that good enough yet...

Missy Eerah

2007-08-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

Searching for something that no amount of money can buy...

I saw a pretty lil rainbow today. How lucky... Was it a sign? To tell me that... he might be the one? =) hahaha...

I'm surrounded by them.. bt not one could win my heart.....yet. Is it really difficult to please me?

Missy Eerah

2007-08-07T15:34:00.000+08:00

Love this dance to the max!!! The dance basically shows the pain & frustrations of being in a relationship...and gosh..it really made me emotional watching that. Wish I could do something like that.. hahah!!...

Someone once told me "...Opportunities will come knocking at your door..as long as you keep your passion alive..." Thanks for the encouragement,darling!!! =) He told me I'm a great dancer and I've been improving in terms of stage presence... Yeah! That's all I ever wanted..to get noticed for my efforts and talent... and now I wanna achieve more!

Just watching the dance video just made me go "Wow...I'm soo gonna do that..one day..." =)

Missy Eerah

2007-08-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

It takes more than just techniques to achieve that...

Finally, I'm done with all of my dance performances... have been doing lifts with the guys in dance..coolness!! Love the feeling of being lifted up while maintaining the right posture and continuing with the right transition.. Not simple indeed... hahah..but..loving it all the same.. =D

I've thought over it.. and someone inspired me.. I realised that my main purpose in life was to achieve my dreams and my passion. Thinking too much about a certain distraction that may obstrust my journey to achieve my dreams, is just unnecessary... Why should I think about something that has nothing to do with me, indirectly..? I should just concentrate and focus on how I could make my dreams a reality and make justice to my passion...

Yeah..hahaha.. I'm so enlightened now... hahah...

Missy Eerah

2007-07-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

Two-faced monsters !!!

I hate people who pretend to be really nice in front of a person, but will say bad things about the same person behind his back..Like WTH...

I always have the urge to slap people like this... If you hate the person, please...don't bother trying to be extra nice to them, when it's really fucking fake... Do you guys know that it's making the person affected soo miserable.. thanks to your actions... It doesn't mean that if you're the person up there, you can poke your ass into everything..and have everything your way...

..and it really make me sick each time I hear stories about you getting not enough attention.. But from what I see, that's not the case... and for your information, I'm not dumb and I'm not retarded yet... What I see, isn't what I heard...

Stop being so fake..coz it always make me sick.... I hate all the stuffs thats happening... because of all these shits happening, I lost something I've always had in me before : passion...

Thanks alot for making me lose everything... and you.. before you even think about critising others, please...do me a big favour..go and reflect on yourself first and realise what kind of a person you are now... You're not even fit to be called a normal human being...

If anyone's offended by this post, by all means,,just come and confront me... This is MY blog and I have the right to say anything I want..Not happy with me, come and find me..And don't be a fucking coward and start talking behind my back..

I'm sick and tired of all this... and I'm fucking pissed right now.

Missy Eerah

2007-07-27T20:13:00.000+08:00

I wanna run away!!!

These days had been... hell. I don't know why I get angry, pissed and emotional easily these days... but of course, I try not to affect the people around me just because I'm feeling this way..in fact I don't think they even realise I'm not exactly being the normal Munirah...

I don't know why I'm behaving like this.. Stressed out?? Perhaps.....

I really want to just run away.. go somewhere where I can be alone..where I can relax my mind and straighten out my thinking.....

The journey back home today was exceptionally long.. =(

Missy Eerah

2007-07-26T08:35:00.000+08:00

I never had a dream come true...

Ever since I was a lil gal, I've made my mind to sing and dance till I grow old.. When the passion's in you already, no matter how tough it is, no matter how exhausting it can be...you'll definitely continue doing it..and the thought of quiting something that you enjoy will never come across your mind...

I've been dancing for 12 years already... but I feel as if I've never achieved anything...yet...

I wanna get noticed!! I wanna get recognised for my talents & capabilities!!! Why isn't anyone noticing the effort and hardwork that I've put in???

I want oppotunities to do new things!! But why aren't I given that opportunity? Am I really that bad of a dancer??

I wanna achieve a lot of things!! But sadly, there's no opportunites and.. I still got people telling me that they're not given enough attention!! HELLOO!!! WAKE UP!!! You HAVE the opportunities lined up in front of your eyes!! And you still got the cheek to tell me you're not given enough attention...

Things Missy Eerah wanna do before she dies:

1)dance a solo/contact with ****
2)choreograph my own dance
3)be the lead/main dancer
4)wanna have my own singing concert
5)wanna sing for a big school event

Dreams...wil always be dreams... I feel like a total loser...Something that I havc great passion for, I can't even achieve great things out of them...Maybe I really suck in them...

I really hope I could achieve my dreams...Please someone, anybody..grant me this wish...

Missy Eerah

2007-07-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

boyfren??..nah...

the two important guys in my life...

Flu..Sore throat..

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache, a very,very sore throat..and was sneezing loads of times... and my first reaction was.. " Oh fuck..Im sick..great... n I've got more dancin to attend to... "

...and so I dragged my sick body to school for another dance rehearsal... thought I could just dance awhile and go off.. but darn.. not a single soul was at the dance studio this morning.. just imagine how I felt that instance..when I actually had to rush down to school, with a sick me... just to find out that nobody has reached there yet... and in the end I had to wait for an hour just to get started... I just managed to practise a few times, then had to rush off to my bro's dance competition...

..and darn.. were they good.. haha..!! Seeing them dance malay dance, in those pretty costumes...really made me miss dancing malay dance... Anywae..Rp's malay dance troupe also competed for the same competition just now..

...and the results?? Well, my bro's school got the 5th position, where as Rp got the 3rd position... not bad ah... =)

I've got another dance performance tml afternoon..and I seriously can't imagine how I'm spose to perform with my condition like this...

Nevertheless.. I'm gonna try.. Besides.. a professional dancer will not show her flaws on stage rite?? So yeah..I'm gonna rest now..Hopefully I'm alrite tml... =)

Missy Eerah

2007-07-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

The Breaking Point...

Life's a bitch these days.. But..for the sake of the people who still care for me, I kicked all my moodiness aside... I tried to be the normal Munirah,who always laughs at every lil joke, sometimes being such a sotong... Never showing signs that I was depressed...

But, just now really was the breaking point for me... I suddenly broke down after dance, on the way home...

Everyday, problems after problems.... People pissing the shit out of me... People showing me attitude... Family probs...

To the people who kept pissing me off: Just get a life and leave me alone ok...
To the people who shows me attitude: You people are not the only ones who're having a bad day,okay... so,if I did not owe you anything, just fuck off okay...

I haven't been in a good mood these days...

Missy Eerah

2007-07-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

Inconsiderate Moofoos !!!

I can't believe such people exist in this world!! Thanks to someone, she made me really irritated just now..Ok..What happened was...

I was on my way from my gran's place..So yeah I took the bus and there was a group of indian teens at the back of the bus.. they were really, really loud, laughing and talking like as if the rest of the passengers in the bus were deaf and dumb... BUT..that's not all...

Apparently, one of them.. really just pissed the shit out of me... She has this really, really, really FAKE aussie accent.. and she just kept going on about kangaroos in australia...bla bla bla..( and yes..with that FAKE aussie accent of hers...bleah..)

Oh..oh! She has this really irritating laugh!! She laughs like a witch..Whenever she laughs, the bus literally shook..( ok I'm exaggerating..) I almost screamed at her to shut her f***ing mouth up..haha!!

How bimbotic can someone be?? Typical...

What a day... hahaha...

Missy Eerah

2007-07-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

Life aint that great after all...

Today's just not my day... Every single person just pissed te shit out of me...It's just soooo frustrating to find out that you got a whole lot of problems to think about...all at one shot... There's just a lot of stuff bombarding my head right now, that it feels like exploding any time... and the worst part, there's no one to really listen and share the burden with me.. Not saying that I don't have my friends to go to, but some things are just not meant to be shared.. Get what I mean?

Just thinking about them and trying to dig out solutions for it... really makes me insane, confused..

Life..aint that great.. My life, that is...

Missy Eerah

2007-07-12T16:20:00.000+08:00

Thinking too much makes me crazy...

I think I spent most of my life, thinking... Thinking about all sorts of stuff in the world... About family, friends,love, guys, ambitions, school... and the list goes on... Sometimes, I tend to think too much into other people's actions/ behaviours, that I can just keep thinking and pondering over something that might/might not have anything to do with me after all.. A good example was what happend on tuesday... I seriously kept thinking and wondering about what I've read..It's just too much of a coincidence...Then again..it might not have been meant for me after all.. It's just my stupid habit of thinking too much that've been controlling my mind right now..It once almost made me lose a friend, and the possibility of it happening again is just..unimaginable...

But...ARGHH!! That sickening lil sentence reallly triggers thousands of question marks in my head... Gosh... I should really slap myself back to reality..The reality that whatever "that person"was talking about was really not about me..Earghh.I just hate the feeling of uncertainty...Maybe I should really start slapping myself...for thinking too much that is...haha..!!

Missy Eerah

2007-07-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

the roses among the sole thorn...
the babes...

The Experience...

I finally felt the experience of becoming a judge for a singing competition.. coolness!! It definitely felt different, being the one judging other people's vocals, instead of me being the one judged... But, nice experience it was... =D

School's definitely a real bore now.. Problems just got reaalllyy tough, that the first thing that always come across my mind's just wanting to run away frm school, from all the lessons... Today was no exception... But today, I guess it was abit too much for me.. The breaking point for me...I literally dragged myself to school todae, still freaking exhausted and in pain everywhere due to dance the day before.. Lack of sleep just made my day....worse... and to top it all up, today's java... I guess I was too tired that I actully left in the middle of the class and went straight into the ladies.. Went into the cubicle and just sat on the toilet bowl, doing nothing and just staring at the empty spaces around me...

Yes..It was that bad... that bad... UT after school was...much worse.. I almost slept during the test.. coz I was really sleepy and exhausted... Haizz.. school...bleah...

~feelings of the past... back?? I hope not...~

Missy Eerah

2007-07-08T20:54:00.000+08:00

my darling, Firas Isaac... =)

Ive got short hair now... Yes!! Ive cut my hair... Gosh..It was kinda sad to see a whole clump of my hair on the floor.. =( No more long hair...

Aniwae..Something random...

Why do guys have ego? Sometimes thier ego gets soo big, they're just asking for a big tight slap from we, gals.... really.... I'm not tryin to be a sexist here.. but I think most gals out der might agree with me... =)

I'm kinda random todae.. =)

Missy Eerah

2007-07-03T20:30:00.000+08:00

Camwhores!!!

Mas's sister's wedding was the most beautiful one I've ever seen so far... The decor's really pretty, the food's great and the guys there.. hahaha.. not bad lah.. =) Finally, I got to meet my dear girlfriends after soo long... annddd.. of course, when 5 girls meet up, there's definitely some serious camwhoring business to do! hahaha... adn so we did... and the result? It's all up there...Feast your eyes while you can...wahahahaha...

My back and my leg muscles are all screaming for help... hahaha... After dance last night, I practically crawled back home..coz every part of my body hurt like hell...

Speaking of dance... we have a very tight schedule this month... we literally have to finish choreographing bout 3 to 4 dances for the upcoming performance in school... Yikes...

Missy Eerah

2007-07-01T21:16:00.000+08:00

Cupid's arrows...

Cupid can strike its love arrows at anyone and at anytime..But the question is, " how do I make sure that that's the right person for me? How do I even find out if teh feelings' the same for the other party, and not just a wishful thinking on my part?"

It's soo difficult to get answers for the above questions, plus the fact that I'm a girl and girls making the first move?..I don't think soo...

Sometimes I wonder if I really like someone, will the person like me?.because I really don't want history to repeats itself...The past..it's better off as my memories of my life...

Dream guy? =) It's definitely impossible to get the "perfect dream guy"...Even the most "perfect-est of the perfect-est guy most prolly has his own secrets and flaws. But if there really is a "dream guy" for every girl out there, mine would proll has to have these traits in him.....

Missy Eerah's dream guy project:

1)able to understand & respect me and my passion
2)communicates well with me & my family
3)able to cheer me up when I'm down
4) able to give me a sense of security
5)caring
6)matured
7)realistic
8)open-minded
9)loving
10)romantic

If there's a guy who has at least 70% of my "dream guy' traits, I'll be more than happy to have him....so any takers? =)

I believe everone wants to have a special companion in their life... and like the rest of them, te same goes for me... Seeing couples everwhere I go, makes me feel kinda lonely...hahah...

Oh wells, I know my dream guy would pop out in my life..sooner or later... =)

Missy Eerah

2007-06-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

We love camwhoring, yes!!

I think " The Ex" 's fcuking retarded...or juz plain stupid... He kept calling and smsing me, and just last night, he did the most ridiculous thing on earth... and he almost got me into trouble because of what he left outside my doorstep last night...

..and he's fcuking idiotic to keep smsing me today,asking the most stupidest question on earth... asking a girl whether she's angry when you know what you did to her was wrong was stupid k...pls get that in your head!!

..and pls..dun ever dream of getting me back... coz you just made me HATE you even more...congrats...

Anyway...

Thanks sooo much, Rizam..for listening to my crap when I was freaking mad just now... I'm feeling soo much betta now...

Missy Eerah

2007-06-27T21:20:00.000+08:00

I'm vain... I know...hahaha...

The "Ex" 's bothering me..again.. geezz..get a life,will yea?? I can't believe he's saying stuff like " you can't be with someone new coz you're always mine.." like WTH... I'm not even yours in the first place... and besides..why can't I have somebody new..when he did get someone new in less than a month after we broke up?? Hah..The irony... Get a life, purlees...

Oh Oh... something happened to me last sun..and it's freaaaking funny... As usual I had singing that day...Around 6 plusin the evening, I was busy packing up when a guy actly came up to me and asked for my number... It was funny coz the one who wanted my number was his fren..hahaha..and all I did was, told the friend this:

" Oh..your friend, huh..Why can't he just get my number himself? Tell you what..just tell your friend to get it himself..if he's a real man,that is..."

Opps..guess it was a wee bit too harsh..in the end the guy gave up... A great pity..coz that guy's kinda cute..hahahaha..bt too bad...for him, that is... hahah...

Guys..Love..Relationships...Bleah..

..and you Alfie.. we'll meet up soon yeah?

..and dearie Shawnrick..cheer up,alrite?? You're not shawnrick if you're not happy...

When can I ever find my perfect someone who wld watch the sunset and the stars with me....

Missy Eerah

2007-06-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

When you're not there for me anymore...

Some things are just not meant to be said at all. I'm sorry all these happened because of me. I just want the old you back.....

Anyways..ever since school started.. I havent been slping well..havent been eating well..gosh... and the lessons just got more challenging day by day... haiz... how to cope like that... and with all th UTs coming up..I can sooo forsee that, im gonna break down soon..with all these stress working in my head.... Arrghhh!!!

8 more weeks to the next hols..

Missy Eerah

2007-06-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

18.. =)

Yes..It's missy's eerah's bdae todae...I'm officially 18 now !!! =) I feel so blessed with soo many people who care about me... especially ,my sec school darlings, my poly peeps, my dance babes and of course not forgetting my dearest Angie and Rizam... =) Thanks for all the wishes, all the hugs and kisses... You guys really made my day...

My birthday morning was normal...didn't really expect anything from anyone..until around close to 2 pm, I was pulled by Shijia to her desk and then, Bernice & Miao Wei gave me a small brownie cake..awww..but....that wasn't all...

I was shocked when the classroom door was slammed open suddenly..and when I turned my head to see what happened, I saw the whole W26E peeps cuming in my class, with Dinie holdin a cake, while the rest was singin the bdae song... I was sooo shocked and sooo touched that I really was about to cry..but cldn't coz it was kinda rushing..nevertheless....I was really touched by what they did..Thanks loads!! =)

Then, went for dance as usual after school...adn the moment I opened the dance studio door, most of them came rushing towards me, saying bdae wishes and hugging me... Then..that wasn't all..hahahha...

The moment I came back after changing into my dance attire, Faris ( my dance instructor) asked me to sing in front of the whole dance peeps!!! coz it was my bdae..and most of them asked me to sing "Hurt"..hahahaha... Well, yea..and I did..and after that, they all sang the bdae song to me..

I'm very grateful to Angie,Matthew and Rizam... I didn't know Angie was part of the W26E surprise!!! hahaha..Whatever it is, she really did a good job of not making it obvious...

..and Matthew..he just rawks my world lah... He's always concerned about me..Thanks bunny!!

..and of course not forgetting Rizam.. He's really sweet guy who kept making me smile and laugh when he knows I'm kinda down today... Thanks soo much Rizam!! ..and thanks for the bdae ecard.. =) appreciate it alot.. =)

Overall....I'm contented..with the fact that I have a lot of friends who care and love me... I'm very thankful for all that you guys have done for me..Thanks for the wonderful friendship we have...

2007-06-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

The past haunts...

More than a year ago, on the 21st March 2006 to be exact, I was the happiest girl on earth...I fell in love..or thought I did...We were really happy..did stuff that normal couples would do..For almost a year, we were happy.but finally on the 8th Feb 2007, everything just ended...

Looking back,It's been more than 4 months...I avoided love as much as I could..I was soo sick and tired of falling in love..or rather..I'm too scared to even think about falling in love or having a lasting relationship...

But, nevertheless, the past relationship made me a stronger person.. Though of course, sometimes... the memories just come flooding back... especially these days... Why?..Perhaps it's my birthday week this week... Lotsa memories came floodin back into my mind..all the times together...Erghh..Stop. It hurts just thinking about it...

Sometimes, in a relationship, we tend to make the wrong choices, thus mostly ending up in regrets... But the question is, how do we make right something that has happened, without really hurting the parties involved too much ??? Especially when the parties involved are people very dear to you ??

Whatever it is, honesty is always the best policy... Be honest and tell the parties involved the situation you're in... Nothing beats telling the truth, rather than keeping in you and eventually making it worse...

So many stuff happened in such a short period of time..... There's just no one day where I can have a normal, happy day...For now, I just want to spend my birthday week happily, though the real day's only two days away...hopefully...

Missy Eerah

2007-06-14T18:22:00.000+08:00

Are we?..or are we not..? =X

I was fuming mad the whole day today..BUT..someone managed to put a smile to my face and he was so sweet just now... he listened to all my crap, and made me laugh at his lame-ness..

The conversation:

a L f r E d : wont be online to keep u company darling
a L f r E d : or shld i say, girlfriend
missy eerah : hahaha u saw?
a L f r E d : of course la
missy eerah: ok lah
missy eerah :thnks alot for being der to listen to all my crap
a L f r E d : mus be there for gf wat..HAHA..
missy eerah :haha awww u jz made me smile...
a L f r E d :im glad i just did
a L f r E d : HEH
a L f r E d : i will sms u okie?
a L f r E d : mus keep in touch wit gf ma
a L f r E d : LOL LOL LOL
a L f r E d :ok gf
a L f r E d : time for bf to go
missy eerah : haf fun yea
a L f r E d: i wont hv fun la. how can i hv fun wen my gf is staying at home
a L f r E d :come we go out ok? HAHAH..
missy eerah : hahahaha..awwww....
missy eerah :dun worry i'll be fine bf..
missy eerah : jz rememeber to sms me.haha
a L f r E d: ciaos gf. sure i will
a L f r E d : LOVES from bf
missy eerah : loves from gf too

..now, I know some of you are just itching to shoot me with the question for de day..."are they really an item??"

Well, you're getting no answers from me... all I'm saying is, go figure... hahahaha...

~ thanks bestie !!! =) ~

2007-06-11T18:21:00.000+08:00

They're my sources of joy and laughter...

Weird how the outside world can leave a great impact on an individual... The outside world...the night life..the hard truth of life...

Well, lets just say, once upon a time, someone took for granted of all the stuff that she had all around her..family, friends... so one day, she packed her bags, and left...she left to experience the outside world...she had the freedom, she had her love by her side and his house..she could live life..on her own..oh so she THOUGHT...

A few months after that, life wasn't what she imagined it to be.. fast depleting cash..no food, no form of communication..but at least she had her love by her side..life would change for the better..oh so she THOUGHT...

...then one fateful day, it happened...

Over-possesiveness came over her love..he went berserk..and the victim?

She was beaten...humiliated...and scalded badly...She was locked up for two days..and for two days, she went through hell...For two days, she was beaten and burnt... and finally on the third day of her torture...she escaped... She realised that she was a fool..to leave her family, her friends...friends who were always there for her...

She now realised that the outside world..the night life wasn't at all what she imagined it to be... It's a dog-eat-dog world out there...

Well..I'm just glad she came to her senses and came back before something undesirable happens to her...She's now safe..in a world where she once took for granted...

I know teens nowadays..they're full of curiosity..they wanna explore the outside world... they thought they were ready to explore the night life..but were they..? If they were, why are they teenage pregnancies, abortions, thefts, etc..going on out there ?? Why were there regrets after they were caught ?? But then again, that's how teens grow up...and mature...

The reality of life outside is not something to be taken lightly... so to that friend of mine...I'm just glad you're back now...

2007-06-08T10:51:00.001+08:00

The difference between LOVE & INFATUATION...

When someone says," I'm in love..." Do you really think he/she is in love? Or does he/she thinks they're in love??

Well. I'm telling you... there is a BIG difference between love and infatuation...

>Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.There are nagging doubts and unanswered questions.

>Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

>Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

>Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

>Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

>Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

>Love fills the empty space in your heart. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

>Love, is love of devotion. Infatuation is just love of emotion. A person "falls into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

>Love is basically selfless. Infatuation is basically selfish.

>Love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.

Infatuation is weakened by time and separation.

>Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

>Love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

>Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged.

Tips:

For guys..
Have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint?This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.

And..have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties. Love finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.

Remember... God created someone special for each and every one of us..It's just a matter of time..searching for the right one...

Love forgets past failures and sins...

Courtesy of: http://www.lovefatedestiny.com/differencebetweenloveandinfatuation.htm

2007-06-06T21:31:00.000+08:00

Not an easy task indeed...

Being the eldest is never easy...Sacrifices after sacrifices just to keep the family happy..Being the role model to the 2 younger brothers's really tough..Ther fact that I'm the eldest & the only daughter just means that I'm expected to be matured and selfless all the time..Expected to help out in the family, be it in terms of finance or sacrificing my time for the family...But the thought of getting repaid never once crossed my mind...

Sometimes..I had to sacrifice the time for my interest and for my friends, for the sake of my family...and sadly each time this happens, I get blamed for not sending enough time with my friends...They just don't understand my responsibilities and most of the time,I hated myself for not spending time with them...

But.. just spending time playing games with my lil bro, listening to my teen bro's probs in his lovelife,school..or even accompanying my mum shopping and massaging my dad.. makes me feel...accomplished... These simple lil things make me happy...As long as they're happy, I'm happy too..Even if it means sacrificing my time and money for them...

Anywae..

The past few days of hols soo...mundane... Been doing the same ting all over again..there's just nth to do..!! Ewww....

~ Been pms-ing these days..that explains the emo post..hahaha...~

2007-06-03T12:12:00.000+08:00

Fuck the stress!!

I know some of my friends "hate" right now coz I'm freaking having my hols now..hahaha..( yes, Alfie???) Well, anyway..for those not on hols right now, stress level getting high, huh..?? Now, lets do some analysis...Hmmm...

Sources of stress:

1)School..
2)Projects..
3)Attachments..
4)Work..
5)Relationship..
6)Family

Bla..Bla.Bla.. the list goes on...

Theory:

No one can run away from having stress..It's all about NOT getting the stress get into your head too much...

Formula:

Too much stress + too much thinking = DEPRESSION !!! (..which is a no-no, of course..)

Solutions:

- Listening to classical songs, while writing my thoughts in a diary..
- Enjoying a nice cool breeze at beaches..
- Chat with a friend..
- Soak yourself in the bathtub & just relax..
- Take a nap..
- Have a nice cup of hot tea/milk , with cookies accompanied by your favourite songs..

Well, all these do work for me..and I don't see why it won't work for the rest of you.. =) Take a break ppl !! Nothing's more important than your health,yea?

We control the stress..and not let the stress control us!!

..I seriously don't know what made me come up with this post's..hahah..pure randomness... =)

2007-06-01T20:55:00.000+08:00

"The rose speaks of love silently,
in a languange known only to the heart..."

Im officially on hols now..Yippee!!! ..now I've got no idea how to spend my hols.. It's just freaking 2 weeks of hols...Pathetic.... -_-

Anyways.. web multimedia was kinda interesting today... Imagine walking all around the school, taking pictures that caught our eyes... and yes..in case you're wondering..that pic u see up there was taken just today... but of course, this one's editted... =)

Someone called me "an expert in female psychology"... hahaha..Nah I'm not some expert... I'm a girl...of course I understand girls the most, right... hahaha... =D

" The Ex" kept bothering me these past few days...WTF.. Why can't he just leave me alone..?? Asking me about the impossible... I've already erased you out of my life..so why try and butt your way in again?? I've told you..I'm over you..I'm soo over you..So just get the fuck out of my life.Permanently...

Guys are really weird creatures...I can never understand them... K..That's kinda random..hahaha... =)

Anyway..happy hols to me... The first thing I'll do on Monday is to wake up really late..wahahaha...

Muacks...

2007-05-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

Every rose has its thorns...
Every life has its own obstacles and difficulties...

Sometimes... life's can be really unfair... Problems after problems.. Difficulties after difficulties...Obstacles after obstacles... Sometimes you just feel ike giving up.. But then again... that's all part and parcels of LIFE...

There will always be thorns on every rose, no matter how beautiful the rose is... The same concept applies to our lives...Each and every one of our lives will always have difficulties and obstacles, waiting for us to over come them... and each time we succeed in overcoming an obstacle, we become a stronger person...

And the most important thing is.. you're never alone... there's always a special someone in everyone's life...who's always available to listen and lend a shoulder...

~ To Angie...
Everything's gonna be alright, okie..? =)

2007-05-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

My own solo.

I finally achieved one of my goals of being a dancer. I got to do my very own solo !! WOW.. and Shah even said that I made good use of space when dancing my solo piece.. Very proud of myself , indeed.. =) Now, the next step is to dance my solo in front of a proper audience... Do I have the opportunity to achieve that? I really hope so... I love doing free flow lah !! That's the only time where I really can express myself through dance movements... For me, when I'm angry, I'll do a lot of turns and jumps.. and when I'm calmer, I prefer to do a lot of floor movements... =)

Ouh..Shah sang for us ytd before dance practice.. Omg..his voice's rarely nice..I love his vocals!!! Finally , I found another kaki who enjoys singing and dancing as much as I am ... =)

Backaches again...Due to the intensive push-ups, sit-ups and attempting to do handstands during dance training ytd... =)

Thank God it's Friday...hahaha..I definitely need the rest...but singing again this weekend...

Take care people!!!

2007-05-23T20:51:00.000+08:00

Everlasting Frienship.. Eerah & Alfie...

He's always the one who lift me up whenever I'm down... He's my pillar of strength.. He's my confidante... He's one person who understand me inside out... Yup..that's you, Alfie!!! =)

Went out for dinner ytd.. We caught the sunset together and camwhored, of course!! =) Laughed at all our lame jokes, reminised about the past times... Overall ,we definitely had fun.. It was our day to de-stress after weeks of brain-wrecking school assignments...

Most of our friends always thought that we were an item just because we're really close... But, of course, we're not... We're just really, really close that our friends just have the wrong impression of us... But, Alfie did had a crush on me during our secondary school years... Awww...Haha.. But, that was eons ago...=)

Anyway...

Best friends now, Best friends forever, yea Alfie ??

=)

2007-05-20T15:17:00.000+08:00

I'm over it.

I'm over "it"?? ...Not yet, I guess... Soon, I hope..I'm so fucking sick and tired of all this lah... Once again.. I have to force myself to forget something that's just sooo difficult to... But then again..It happened once, and it happened again now... I've gone through this before, what's another one to me, right... Another chocolate theraphy for me...I guess...

To you:
If you're reading this...I really appreciate you telling me..Just what I needed...

Anyways..unhappy matters aside..

Went singing ytd..and I'm stil exhausted..Imagine singing from 2pm till 9pm...n I only had dinner at 1130pm... Hahaha..but it was alright,I guess...it's been awhile since I last sang that long...

Oh..went to watch Bismuth perform in school on friday...WOOO!!! Damn nice lah!!! And I was glad most of the W26E peeps came down to support Chris... Anyway...although Bismuth's a three-some band, they performed really professionally and of course, every single one of us enjoyed their one hour performance to the max !!!! Nice one, Bismuth!!!

Till then...

Hugs and kisses from me...

2007-05-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy girl today... =))

Lil ms eerah's really happy today... and why so?? Coz... she was inches away from the love of her life just now... hahaha...

Selling candy floss has never been so special... What happened just now was...breathtaking..hahaha...

There she was, trying to sell her candy floss, when she saw him..coming towards her... and there he was..right in front of her...

..Tongue-tied... heart beating madly...palms sweating... was on the verge of passing out...

5 mins worth of that moment was unbelievable...

Lil ms eerah's happy... =))

~ Thnks durga darling...for everything !!! ...oh and please..get a grip on yourself..You're attached!!! Stop think about his friends!!! =) ~

2007-05-14T14:35:00.000+08:00

Coincidences...? or is it...??

So many things happened for the past two days. So much confusion.

Mother's Day's supposed to be the day where you can spend more time with mummy dearest. But, for me...it was a day that left me..well... speechless.

Went for lunch at Hajah Maimunah Restaurant ytd with all the mums in the family. Ate, exchanged presents, then my couzzie went out to smoke. He came back,tapped me on the shoulder and told me he saw my friend. I asked him who's that friend, and he simply gave me a smile.. and because of that smile, I was speechless...

It was really freaky, because on the way to the restaurant itself, I had that stupid funny feeling that somehow, just somehow... I'll meet him.. and so I did..We didn't really meet in person, but his presence there was definitely felt..by me... Sounds stupid, yes.. but that's what I felt.

Then, today.. I friendster-ed and breaking away frm the usual routine, my itchy fingers went to the horoscope sections.. and this is what I've discovered...

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
Who knew that you had all this patience?! It seems that when someone is worth waiting for, you don't really mind waiting. Your ability to keep yourself entertained has always been strong, and today it will come in mighty handy. The answer you've been waiting for is still nowhere in sight, and you can expect to be given yet another vague explanation as to why. Don't let it bother you, though. Find a way to distract yourself, perhaps with one of your favorite hobbies.

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
Someone you were recently introduced to in a casual social situation has information that could be very helpful to your love life. If you're looking to develop your current relationship, this person knows the perfect way. And if you're looking to begin a new relationship, this person knows someone you should meet. Keep an eye out for a chance to meet up with this new acquaintance again! But don't be too aggressive -- let things unfold naturally.

I'm someone who doesn't believe in horoscopes. But this is just plain freaky..seriously... it's exactly, (and I really mean...EXACTLY...) how I'm feeling and what's happening in my life right now. But, for his... I don't know lah.. But, it looks as if it might be connected though.

Freaky?? You bet...

..And his msn nick.. I don't even know if he's refering bout the same thing. It's as if, his nick's answering my msn nick... Again..sounds stupid, but that's what I'm feeling.

To you...

I just need an definite answer. That's all..Yes...I might get hurt, but at least I know exactly where I stand in your life. Please.

So...you tell me...coincidences..?..or is it...??

2007-05-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

The most difficult thing in the world is to forget someone you loved...

To You:

I kept thinking of you.. and it sucked.
I'm trying my very best to forget you, but I can't seem to do it.
Your images kept filling my mind all the time.
Why???
I feel so horrible, you know that?
Oh wait..perhaps you're really oblivious to all my sufferings.
I should have known that.
And why do I say that?
Because I know u never once noticed me.
Because you never seem to realise my existance in this world.
If only you would notice me.
If only you would listen to all my insecurities.
If only you would isten to my heart.
If only you would tell me what's in your mind.
If only you would tell me what's really in your heart.
If only...
I'm confused.
I'm exhausted.
Of waiting for somethign that seems so impossible.
But why do I keep thinking of you?
I hate myself for being stupid.
I hate myself for being too naive.
I hate myself for loving you.
But, whatever it is,
I'm thankful for all the sweet memories that we've shared.
Thank you...
And let me say something...
Coz I'd probably won't get to say this to you.
I like you.

2007-05-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

He's my inspiration... Painters paint pictures with their brushes...
Dancers paint pictures with their bodies...

I went for a dance workshop in school yesterday and darn...it was soo inspiring... The dance instructor was Jaime Redfern, who used to dance professionally and now teaches at the Hong Kong Academy of Performing Arts...

So why was he so inspiring yesterday?

Well... he was teaching us how to get inspirations when attempting to choreograph a dance piece. One method is to use numbers, letters or words and try to write them using body movements, (for example, writing the number 8, using ur right knee...) Without you relising it, the number becomes a dance movement on its own. Just imagine writing your handphone number using a whole lot of body movements, and then, TADA !!!..it becomes a short dance piece..!!! Cool, ain't it..?

I was soo inspired by this whole concept of using letters,numbers or even a picture, to help create movements for a dance piece.. Uber cool...!!! And the best part is that your audience won't be able to know that your dance piece is made up of numbers and letters...!!! Uber uber cool..!!

So, a dancer DOES paints a picture with her body, after all... =)

Anyway...

I saw another twinkling star on my way home from dance last night..and yes..I made the same wish again...wishing very hard that my wish would come true... =)

~ To the one I've been thinking of...

I thought I could forget you.. but barely a minute at the attempt, I thought of you again...
I'm a failure at this... ~

2007-05-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

The haunting past...

The past.. haunts sometimes.. for me at least..Normal? It sucks... Spent my day friendster-ing and blog-hopping... Read the past comments and testimonials...and the past kept flooding back to me... From the "battle" between two "friends-turned-enemies" to the comments from the guy who took my breath away a few months ago...

Anyway...

Mother's day's just around the corner... I seriously duno what to prepare for my mum..Cook dinner for the day,perhaps??? Hmmm..Perhaps.... =))

Still having backache.. =(

~ Hey you...it hurts me to know that you're feeling this way... But don't worry..I'l be here if you need me... ~